Yes, things of late have been troubling and somewhat confusing for all who actually follow this blog. Let me try to clarify… All families go through tough times. People come and go in our lives, circumstances change, fortunes change, but the one thing that seems to survive is the love of family. It is like a fur coat in winter…it keeps you safe and warm…it is unconditional…it is free…it is a constant force that can heal with a single hug. So no matter what the world has to lay on our shoulders, we will carry it with a sense of pride and determination, because we know we will survive as long as we have each other. For now, we will be content to get things in order and push forward with all the love and support we can derive from being together. This is certainly not the first time we have faced adversity together and it certainly won’t be the last. But one thing is certain, we will learn, pick ourselves up, and live to see another day. We will survive, and maybe, someday, if we are lucky…we will be better human beings.
Archive for March, 2014
A look at the temperament of recent discourses.
JAX to MOO: I know nothing I could say could mend what I’m doing. I’d been going back and forth on myself about staying with Eric only because I valued you and Bill’s relationship so much. I can’t however remain in a situation where my trauma and mental health is in constant battle or put on the back burner. I feel like when I got with Eric I believed him to be a lot more stable than he his. I married him thinking that we would make the last stretch of stability into a real life, and instead I feel he’s only become worse and inconsolable. I will not pretend I don’t know that pain I’m causing because at the same time it kills me to do it. I can not, however, keep taking care of somebody when I myself need the care. Marriage is supposed to be about mutual…
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Although I pride myself as a student of human behavior, I find I am and shall always be naive when it comes to judging people. I have always believed the best in people and I give them every chance to prove me right, but I am disappointed time and time again. My heart suffers the consequence of my foolish beliefs and ideas about the way people should behave. I love and trust far too easily. You’d think that after all the times I allowed myself to believe only to be betrayed, I’d figure it out and toughen up…but no…I am destined to be a sucker and continue to believe. I only hope that with each painful experience comes a valuable lesson…something that sticks…something that I will remember when the next opportunity walks through my door. For now, I will wallow in self-pity, drink too much wine, use up a box of tissue or two, and hope my dreams take me to a better place.
Note to self 